Don't Do These Things If You Have An Angry ADHD Child
To the dismay of parents, tantrums and childhood go hand in hand. Though most kids grow out of their predisposition to have uncontrollable meltdowns rather soon, children with ADHD frequently find it difficult to overcome this trait. Compared to neurotypical children, they undergo meltdowns more frequently and more severely, and these episodes might last into late childhood. This is a result of youngsters with ADHD having difficulty regulating their emotions. Their threshold for rage is lower, and it takes more effort for them to restore control once a tantrum has begun.
Even though many parents make an effort to teach their child with ADHD coping mechanisms like counting to ten, deep breathing exercises, and other techniques, they frequently neglect to adequately assess how they are managing their child's anger. When a child with ADHD is being approached inappropriately, it can exacerbate the situation instead of defusing it and making it even more difficult for them to calm down. Therefore, when handling your child's outbursts, parents of children with ADHD should refrain from making the following mistakes:
1. Getting too emotional
Compared to ordinary children, children with ADHD are more readily overwhelmed by stimuli. As a result, he will only get angrier if you lose your cool—even in small ways like raising your voice or yelling at your kid. Therefore, it's critical to put into practice the same anger management strategies you teach your kids: Breathe deeply, count to ten, and then try your hardest to be kind and patient. Keeping in mind that kids pick up good behavior mostly from watching their parents, you can assist your child learn better behavior by modeling acceptable ways to deal with anger.
2. Approaching discipline in a reactive rather than proactive manner
If you don't have a strategy in place for handling meltdowns, you'll be considerably more likely to react to them in an ineffective manner. Take your calm child aside and work with him to create a "behavior plan" that outlines what he should do in case he feels like losing his cool. This strategy should include rewards for maintaining his composure as well as penalties for acting out in ways that are harmful or hurtful. It's your responsibility as a parent to firmly and calmly enforce such rewards and punishments. When your child is "behaving good," resist the want to give in and indulge him, and don't ratchet up the punishments when he's "behaving bad." Set predictable, unambiguous boundaries for your youngster to play inside.
In a similar vein, try to encourage your youngster to follow the plan you've both set rather than yelling at him in a critical or demanding manner. Rather than uttering a sentence along the lines of, "Ethan, please stop this absurdity immediately!" Try saying something like, "I realize you're upset right now, but do you remember our strategy for calming down? You'll benefit from it, and I have faith in your ability. Just don't expect instant results—it can take several repetitions of this instruction for your child's instinct-driven brain to calm down sufficiently to allow for clear thinking.
3. Ignoring your child
Even though your child occasionally behaves "out of control," his sentiments are just as legitimate as those of any other individual. Remember this and don't become so preoccupied with attempting to manage your child's tantrums that you end up isolating them. After all, his ideas, emotions, and perceptions might provide light on the reasons behind his rage as well as his character. When you notice your child becoming irritable, ask him why he's upset and, if he's still sufficiently composed, ask him to assist you in coming up with some solutions to the problem.
It's crucial to remember that kids can lose their composure for a variety of reasons. For instance, it's possible that your youngster is genuinely nervous about something. His brain struggles to control emotions and impulses, so when he feels anxious, his "fight or flight" response kicks in, making him aggressive. In this case, if you engage in compassionate curiosity, you'll probably find out what's causing your child's anxiety. With this knowledge, you may take care of the issue right away and possibly avoid similar meltdowns in the future.
Learn to know your child, and when you run into trouble, always look for a middle ground and make a compromise. This will not only make your home a more peaceful place, but your child will also understand that you are his supporter and there to assist him deal with his frustration.
4. Giving up too soon
Making a significant behavioral adjustment in a child with special needs requires patience on the part of the parent. A great deal of the time. It is imperative that you resist giving in to annoyance and assuming your youngster is incapable of controlling his troublesome behaviors and responses. Your child is likely to give up too if he feels that you have given up on him, which will prevent change from ever occurring.
The challenges of raising a child with high needs can make you feel like you're about to "break down," but you don't have to do it alone. There are resources for support, including friends, family, parent support groups, and mental health specialists. Ask for assistance when you need it, and take breaks when you need them. Occasionally, spending some time apart from your child might provide you with the necessary distance to see his advancements.
You shouldn't give up even if your youngster doesn't make any noticeable development. If you have any unanswered questions, you should speak with his doctor about requesting a referral to a psychologist as he might have had many disorders or a misdiagnosis. He or she will be able to assess your child more thoroughly and design a personalized treatment plan that addresses his needs. Your child will likely start to make significant progress toward recovery as soon as the proper assistance is in place.
