How to Help Your Child Calm Their Anxious Mind: 8 Strategies
If your child is nervous, as a parent you undoubtedly worry from time to time if you did something "wrong," something that caused your child's mind to become always disturbed. While these worries are understandable, you may be confident that the answer is probably "no"—some people are just naturally very cautious. But there are many of things you can do to stop your worried child's thinking from taking over her life. You cannot (and should not) change your child, but you can encourage her to face her fears head-on and find her inner fortitude.
Knowing About Anxiety
Certain brain regions start to "take over" and become more prominent in your worried youngster, eventually dominating her behavior. Of course, this is the well-known, innate "fight or flight" response in action.
The previously mentioned reflex, when used in moderation, is a beneficial—and occasionally even life-saving—function of the human mind. But, when someone engages in "survival mode" too frequently and for the wrong reasons, the brain as a whole may become conditioned to react in an unhelpfully extreme manner to a variety of neutral stimuli. You might see that as time goes on, your child's reactions to a variety of circumstances become more set in stone and consistent. This means that areas of her brain that used to function well together—the parts related to instinct, logic, reasoning, and planning—now operate largely independently of one another. This severely impairs your child's capacity to recognize various situations and respond appropriately to them.
Thankfully, these changes in your child's brain are not permanent. While we used to think of the brain as being like a computer that was unchangeable, science—particularly psychology and neuroscience—has shown us that this is not the case. You can restore your child's brain's potential for resilience by giving her the experiences she needs to mend the damaged connections in her mind.
Eight Steps To A Relaxed, Connected Mind When Fighting Anxiety
Try employing the following techniques to assist your child in reestablishing connections between the various areas of her brain and ultimately overcoming her fears:
1. Be supportive rather than immediately attempting to reason with your youngster.
If you argue with your anxious child in an effort to stop her worry from controlling her behavior, she will only become more overwhelmed because when your child is worried, the portions of her brain that are capable of handling logical negotiation are totally shut off. Essentially, instead of using the left or right hemispheres of the brain for reasoning or communication, you will use the instinctive (or "lower") side of the brain even more.
Regardless of how your child is acting, if you see that she is actively experiencing anxiety, try to remain calm, soothing, and encouraging. This will signal to the lower part of her brain to "stand down" and allow the other parts to become active once more. Your child's behavior will probably get better on its own once she feels safe.
2. Assist your youngster in clarifying her anxieties.
When your child is engulfed in a whirlwind of anxiety, everything seems to be occurring too fast and fiercely for them to understand. This causes perplexity, and misunderstanding frequently results in fear.
By recognizing the emotion or fear that you observe, you can assist your child in breaking free from this cycle. This will also start to reduce activity in her lower brain and emotionally validate your child. In fact, studies show that even labeling an emotion can increase activity in the prefrontal cortex, the most logical and reasoning part of the human mind, and decrease activity in the amygdala, the brain's instinctive and emotional center.
But keep in mind that you shouldn't be overly assuming when labeling your child's emotions; instead, you should always get their feedback on what you see, for example, by asking, "You look scared; are you worried about going to your friend's party?"
3. Encourage your youngster to speak.
By asking your kid to describe her experiences with anxiety in her own words, you can expand on the advantages that come from helping her identify her feelings. After your child has calmed down, ask her why she was afraid. Use open-ended questions to get her to comment on her feelings, such as "What happened after that?" She will start to interpret the experience as she goes along. In the meantime, her brain will be strengthening the connection between its linguistic, logical left half and its right half by transferring information from the latter (in the form of memories and emotions).
4. Ensure that your youngster sleeps through the night.
To ensure that your child gets at least 8 hours of sleep every night, establish a household rule implementing good sleep hygiene, which is a regular, soothing bedtime ritual free from sources of high stimulation, especially technological gadgets. All children (and adults) need to sleep, but research has shown that nervous kids particularly need to obtain enough slumber. Myelin is a layer of insulation that strengthens nerve fibers and helps to increase connections between the left and right hemispheres of a child's brain by up to 20% while they sleep.
5. Pick a quiet time to explain to your youngster why anxiety makes sense.
Your child will not only let go of a lot of the guilt she has attached to her anxiety once she understands why it feels so strong and drives her to act in certain ways, but she will also be better equipped to make the connection between her left and right hemispheres of the brain the next time she goes through an anxiety attack. Her rational left brain will intervene and remind her of the reason behind her strong reactions to the environment; as a result, she won't associate her physical and mental symptoms with terrifying scenarios (such as "I'm having a heart attack" or "I'm going crazy").
6. Instruct your kids in deep breathing techniques.
It has recently been found that deep breathing causes a brain relaxation response that is so potent that it neutralizes the fight-or-flight neurochemicals that cause anxiety. Deep breathing is not just a diversion from stressful situations.
After teaching your kid about this connection, have her practice slow, deep breathing. She can control the speed of her breaths by counting to three before letting go. It's crucial to teach counting to young children, as they will frequently rush through this activity if they don't.
7. Use mindfulness to help your child learn how to ground herself.
For children experiencing anxiety, mindfulness—the practice of completely focusing on the present moment—is just as calming and reassuring as it is for adults. Therefore, you should set aside some time each day to practice "child friendly" mindfulness exercises. For instance, you could ask your child to eat a single raisin or another small food item while paying great attention to every sensation she experiences as she tastes, chews, and swallows the raisin. After that, you ought to ask her to repeat those feelings to you.
8. Make a strategy for dealing with panic episodes.
After educating your child about anxiety—what it is and why it affects her in the way that it does—you should collaborate with her to develop a plan for dealing with acute anxiety attacks. Not only will planning activate the pre-frontal brain, which moderates anxiety, but your child's self-confidence will soar if she takes the initiative to face and control her own fears.
The next time your child is nervous, ask her what she thinks would help her relax. Together, you can make a plan that incorporates her requests as well as tried-and-true anxiety-reduction techniques like deep breathing exercises. After some experience, your child will instinctively follow this strategy when confronted with a difficult scenario; at that point, her instinctive brain regions will no longer be able to control her thoughts and actions, even in conditions that are generally safe. From then on, her mind's innate attentiveness will be a blessing, encouraging her to use every area of her brain to swiftly, precisely, and completely comprehend her surroundings.
