Debunking 5 Typical Bullying Myths
Bullying can take many different forms, and the advent of cyberbullying in recent years has brought attention to these manifestations. However, many facets of this detrimental behavior pattern are still unknown to parents and educators. This limits our capacity to offer them constructive guidance, and it also makes it more difficult to comprehend the trauma that many children and teens experience. This is a follow-up to my bullying prevention piece from the previous year.
Knowing What Bullying Is and How It Occurs
We must first define bullying in order to equip young people to deal with the likelihood of it. Bullying, according to the majority of specialists nowadays, is any persistent, unintentionally hurtful behavior—verbal or physical—that is done without provocation. Bullying can also perceived as an attempt to take advantage of a power imbalance. Even if a bigger youngster may bully a smaller one on occasion, the power disparity may be far more subtle and intricate than a physical size difference. Certain victims of bullying may be targeted because of their gender, race, sexual orientation, financial situation, or standing in the social hierarchy (online or at school), among other reasons.
Although there is a clear definition of bullying, there are still many myths and misconceptions surrounding the motivations behind the actions of bullies. Furthermore, a lot of popular anti-bullying tactics have been shown to be useless by recent studies. The following list of "facts and fictions" should be reviewed by your child before offering guidance on how to handle bullies:
1. Low self-esteem is a constant problem for bullies.
Bullies typically do not fit into this group, despite the fact that it is true that people who are unhappy with themselves sometimes have a tendency to snap at others. Unexpectedly, current studies have revealed that a large number of bullies actually have above-average self-esteem. Their true deficiency is empathy. But this isn't always their fault; a lot of bullies come from households where the parents are combative and provide a bad example for how to resolve conflicts. Some bullies genuinely lack the awareness required to realize the extent of the hurt they're creating since these parents don't teach their kids how to empathize with others.
Drawing on this research, a lot of anti-bullying initiatives now focus more on teaching empathy skills than on enhancing the bully's sense of self-worth.
2. A bully will leave you if you simply ignore him.
The misconception that bullies usually stop if you ignore them is one of the most damaging about bullying myths. In actuality, the opposite frequently holds true: Ignoring a bully will frequently agitate him and cause his behavior to worsen. Why? Instead of attention, the bully truly wants a sense of control, and he will often do whatever it takes to get it.
When a child receives advice to “just ignore” a bully, the victim in question typically ends up suffering in silence. As a result, if your child is being bullied, you should urge them to seek out adult intervention frequently and repeatedly. Even though it won't instantly stop the bully, doing this has been shown to be a more effective long-term tactic than just turning a blind eye.
3. Bullying is temporary, therefore there's no need to be concerned.
Although a lot of kids do experiment with bullying, these sessions are usually short-lived and infrequent. On the other hand, persistent, ongoing bullying typically points to a deeper, much more problematic issue: a pronounced lack of empathy for others. For most bullies, this lack of empathy becomes their way of life unless they are carefully intervened against. The root cause of bullying in care facilities, the workplace, and violent relationships is frequently unresolved hostility during childhood. Bullying rarely goes away on its own, even if it usually gets more subtle and deceptive as people age. Therefore, it is imperative that adults address bullying seriously in all circumstances and assist the bully in getting treatment, either through individual therapy with a mental health professional or participation in an anti-bullying program.
4. The only effective method to handle a bully is to confront him.
This myth is predicated on the idea that bullies are cowards who flee at the first sign of genuine conflict, meaning that they are naturally shy. Sadly, this is not always the case. Bullies know they have the upper hand because they typically take advantage of a power differential between them and their victims. They will continue tormenting their victims as long as they are operating alone, secure in the confidence that they will prevail.
To remedy the power imbalance indicated earlier, the victim must be told to seek outside assistance, ideally from a higher authority. Additionally, peer support groups are often beneficial to victims of bullying. People who have experienced bullying may feel less alone and vulnerable when they interact with other victims of bullying.
5. Bullying reports will exacerbate the issue.
This myth only comes to pass when powerful individuals do not act swiftly to stop bullying when they become aware of it. On the other hand, both the victim and the bully frequently gain when parents and educators collaborate to put an end to the bully's destructive behavior. While the bully receives the support required to grow in empathy and compassion, the victim is assisted in overcoming feelings of guilt, fear, and isolation.
The majority of experts think that bullying frequently goes unreported, which may help to explain why this harmful behavior is still so common in schools and workplaces. In order to effectively reduce bullying, we must create a thoughtful and comprehensive response system where reporting leads to solutions. The destructive habits bullies display can only be changed by prompt, empathy-based interventions.
