The Problem of Boredom or How to Assist the Child Who Isn't Involved
Our children must make significant adaptations while being confined to their homes while schools and extracurricular activities are closed in an effort to stop the coronavirus from spreading. I found out by talking to parents that the majority of them immediately abandoned screen time limits because they didn't want to constantly hear their kids whining about how bored they were. However, there are rarely enough things to do to make someone bored.
Have you ever wondered why some kids can play peacefully for hours on end by themselves, while other kids put new activities down often, moaning that they're bored? If so, you're not alone. For decades, experts and parents have been trying to figure out what causes chronic boredom. Recent studies are providing new insights into the definition, implications, and remedies of persistent boredom.
Why is boredom a cause for concern?
For working parents, chronic ennui is more than simply an inconvenience. For a considerable amount of time, child psychologists have observed that a propensity for frequent boredom seems to be linked to a higher risk of anxiety and depression. In addition to being more prone to binge eating, taking more risks than their classmates, and occasionally developing substance addiction problems, under-engaged children are also more likely to go for excitement in all the wrong ways. They also frequently experience focus problems in the classroom, and their disengagement from learning can occasionally result in their complete dropout.
Though some of the behaviors listed above may give the impression that they are disobedient or sluggish, bored youngsters are not inherently terrible. Rather, the issue is with the way we try to deal with boredom: Most parents make an effort to limit their child's screen time, provide more structure and discipline at home, or give their child as much stimulation as they can. Unfortunately, no how well-meaning these tactics may be, they will all ultimately fall short as they fail to address the underlying source of boredom.
Chronic Boredom: What Is It?
Every child has moments of boredom; unfortunately, these moments usually occur when they are overstimulated, exhausted, hungry, or otherwise out of sorts. But when a child's mood of boredom turns into her typical "resting state," it usually means that she isn't paying attention to what is going on in her environment. Naturally, this can get very problematic. Children who don't feel a connection to the people and things around them are more likely to experience symptoms of psychological illness such as low self-esteem and isolated sensations. Furthermore, they frequently have limited development. Therefore, prolonged boredom is not just a phase or peculiarity of the child's nature, but rather a developmental problem.
When a youngster is developing normally, by the time they are three or four years old, they usually have the want to accomplish things on their own. Instead of depending on their parents to entertain them all the time, kids begin to ask to dress themselves, make their own beds, and play by themselves or with a sibling. They also exhibit more curiosity and start forming more nuanced thoughts of their own. They transcend the typical "attachment phase" of toddlerhood and acquire the ability to creatively welcome times of isolation.
This core urge to explore independence and break away from one's parents is muted in children who are not as involved in their education. These kids feel empty and lacking in ideas when they are alone themselves; they don't want to come out into their surroundings. They are compelled to find sometimes unhealthy ways to cope with this uncomfortable state.
Parents frequently fill the hole by providing extra stimulation in the shape of activities or entertainment, failing to recognize that their easily bored child needs to develop more personal initiative. This doesn't address the root reason of persistent boredom, even though it may momentarily conceal the signs of under-engagement. Furthermore, it stimulates the child to continue being extremely reliant on outside stimulants.
On the other hand, some parents make an effort to overlook their child's ennui. They believe that their child will eventually need to learn how to entertain herself if they let her to "sit with" her boredom. But in reality, this lack of focus just encourages the child to turn to coping techniques more frequently.
Rather than adopting one of the aforementioned strategies, parents ought to consider carefully why their child lacks greater motivation to pursue her own goals. Why does she feel like she has no purpose in life, and why does she lack the drive to learn more about who she is and what she is really like? The only way we can help the child who is always bored is if we can find the answers to these questions.
How to Support a Child Who Is Not Fully Involved
While these are certainly real possibilities, chronic boredom is not usually a symptom of low intelligence or the presence of a learning problem or mental illness. Children that are under engaged typically have emotional deficits as opposed to academic ones. They lack the social drive necessary to emerge into the world because they struggle to establish and sustain intimate relationships with others.
Feeling linked to others is absolutely vital for growing healthy independence, despite the fact that this may seem counterintuitive. Attempting, pursuing, and accomplishing goals are inextricably connected to our social connections: The main reason why people strive to do great things is to make other people's lives better. If your child doesn't seem to be as eager to explore and grow on her own, it's likely because she doesn't have the same foundation: a feeling of stability in her connections. Naturally, nothing you have done "wrong" is most likely the cause of this. Simply put, every child is unique, and your under-engaged youngster requires more affectionate affirmation than other kids.
The good news is that, if the cause is identified, fixing the issue of under-engagement is frequently quite simple. You can assist your child in reestablishing a connection between her feelings and the outside world by encouraging her to identify and express her emotions to you. You will witness her vigor and passion begin to return if you give her your undivided attention instead of just giving her stimulus. In addition, kids who have a solid relationship with the adults in their lives—the most important source of nourishment—are less susceptible to peer pressure and better equipped to withstand unhealthy temptations. A child who is securely rooted in a well-established support system is well-positioned to conquer not just boredom but also all of life's other obstacles.
