Recognizing The Connection Between Anxiety And Empathy In Talented Kids
For gifted kids, it can be difficult to unwind. These kids are frequently perfectionists, and their sharp minds can make up countless reasons to be concerned. They can become unhealthyly driven since they have a tendency to be very critical of themselves. Alternatively, their worries of being rejected and failing could paralyze them. Thus, it comes as no surprise that scientists have shown a strong correlation between anxiety and high IQ, including Kazimierz Dabrowski (1970).
Granted that not every gifted child experiences anxiety, parents nonetheless need to be aware that it is a possibility, particularly if their gifted child also has a high degree of empathy. Parents can assist their gifted children in limiting and managing emotional tension by knowing the causes and mechanisms of anxiety in gifted children.
How Does Anxiety Increase With High Intelligence?
Dabrowski thinks that gifted children have particular brains that are the source of their heightened anxiousness. He thought that children who are brilliant have better neural responses to a wide range of stimuli. To put it another way, gifted kids have deeper experiences than non-gifted kids. They are more "overexcitable," in Dabrowski's words, since they feel things more deeply. Their excessive movement, fixation on sensory stimuli, or daydreaming are some ways in which they display this overexcitability. They could also show intense emotionality or curiosity. In the end, a gifted child's temperament will determine how they show their excitement.
According to Dabrowski, the most anxious kids are those that are brilliant and exhibit emotional overexcitation. Children that suffer from emotional overexcitability (OE) are unable to "dial down" their awareness of their surroundings because they are always sensitive to the sentiments of others. They find it difficult to concentrate on work and become overly anxious at the first hint of conflict or disagreement. For instance, after a typical fight between a child with high OE and his parents, the child may get so upset that he starts to envision the worse (such his parents divorcing). He won't finish his schoolwork that evening as a result. He then adds the dread of receiving criticism for not doing so to his list of concerns. This type of "anxiety cycle" is extremely common in gifted youngsters with high OE.
Parents of talented children with empathy need to know that empathy is not the same as compassion, even though the two are related. A child with a high OE actually feels what other people are feeling, rather than just caring about them and wanting to assist. He feels the feelings of other individuals as if they were his own. If you've ever attempted, unsuccessfully, to focus and quiet down when you're unhappy, you can only image the barrage that an OE gifted child can easily encounter anytime he's in a group environment.
Acquiring The Ability To Handle Abrupt Empathy
In contrast to compassion, extreme empathy can be very vague, which can be misleading. For example, a brilliant child may enter a room feeling completely at ease, only to feel overwhelmed with anxiety moments later. It's unlikely that he understands the source of his tight emotions; he just feels like running out of the room. He might discover that, despite his ability to identify the other person, he is more sensitive to their nervousness than they are.
Brilliant kids with high OE frequently find themselves questioning whether they are "crazy" because they are overwhelmed with emotions that they are unable to rationalize. This gives rise to more anxieties: fears of being imperfect, fears of going insane, fears of not being able to function in social situations, etc.
Unfortunately, a lot of adults ignore this crucial component of giftedness, instead of emphasizing the fact that gifted children occasionally experience difficulties with intense empathy. In fact, a few of them even buy into the myth that those who possess intelligence are by nature less sentimental and more logical than those who lack it. As a result, parents, teachers, and other authority people frequently invalidate the emotional experiences of brilliant children. They are informed that such emotions are common and that they only need to develop coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, this feeds into worries that a brilliant youngster is "broken"; if he can't just "get on with it," he is even more convinced that something is seriously wrong with him.
A brilliant youngster can start to comprehend himself on his own terms, though, if he is informed that his experience is distinct and that not everyone can sympathize. Often, he can feel less anxious just by knowing there is a "reason" for his feelings. Ultimately, people—gifted or not—tend to fear the unknown above all else.
Parents need to be aware of their children's emotional complexity and serve as emotional mentors. In addition to practicing proper anxiety management techniques themselves, they must learn to identify when their child is experiencing anxiety that is most likely not their own. If your child is gifted, develop the habit of pausing to "own" any fear you experience before it takes control of you. Determine the cause of your anxiety, express it, and then make an effort to let it go. By doing this, you can avoid unintentionally making your youngster feel anxious. Similarly, you should demonstrate to your child how you deal with anxiety, for example, by practicing mindfulness, deep breathing techniques, positive self-talk, meditation, etc. Your child will probably pick up appropriate coping mechanisms on their own if you model them for them.
But keep in mind that when your child is overwhelmed, it's still a good idea to walk him through the anxiety management process. Inquire as to why he believes he is experiencing these feelings and what steps he plans to take to avoid feeling thus overwhelmed by dread in the future. Assist him in taking an impartial view of the circumstances so that he externalizes rather than internalizes his fear.
Additionally, you should tell your child that anxiety is not always a terrible thing. This will help him understand that he is not "wrong" to be anxious. After all, anxiety serves as the body's natural alarm mechanism. It keeps us safe by warning us of potential risks. When anxiety is appropriately controlled, it can provide information: An anxious child might discover a lot about the world around him if he can take a moment to look past his anxiety and find out what's making him feel that way. For example, he can determine which scenarios are best avoided. Additionally, he is able to recognize chances to assist others in need, which helps him build stronger relationships with his peers.
At the end of the day, your talented child needs to learn a "action-based" coping mechanism for sympathetic anxiety. It would be wise to advise him to ask himself who exactly is feeling anxious and what, if anything, he can do about it. Telling him it's alright to leave if he can't do anything about the situation should be done. Looking for a quiet place to collect oneself is not a sign of weakness. Your youngster can start to view his empathy as something useful and productive if he understands how to use these helpful techniques for managing worry. Naturally, this is the first step in developing into a self-assured and empowered person.
